I have always wondered what the roadside rusty palmists in saffron do for a living. For, who is a fool to pay them for some thing like astrology? Also, u don't know who are the customers of thousands of astrology related sites on the internet that provide you with horoscopes (career, love, marriage etc) at an unreasonable price of $--. Who would be foolish enough to consult these people. If they can predict future, why don't they become betters on horse races and win billions?
But I did get the answer today, though not verbally. It was one of the moments of frustration that don't seem to leave me of late. 'Oh! Krishna, Stop it. Is this why you have opened up this blog? So that you can use it as a bosom to cry upon; Will your tensions ever reside?’ This is what you will think, but the last Q even I have been asking myself. Will my tensions ever reside...in recent future? This Q led me to search for astrology related sites on Google...and I got galore. Now I understand how the astrologers and tarot readers make business. They heavily rely on uncertain and not-so-confident people for their living. If I, a Technocrat of proven track record, can fall for this in a small moment of despair, why can't a businessman or politicians. I have even heard that politicians have personal astrologers, an analogy to personal secretaries! I present wish is just that some astrologer posing as a genuine one, comforts me of my future!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
A TIME TO KILL
No activity, no sports, no social life, no interesting hobby to pursue and no subjects to worry about. For three long months I have been cursing Baroda and the study load; just to realize now how boring life is without all those studies...
Why no social life? B'coz my batchmates are busy sleeping. Now, sitting back in my room, I wonder why didn't i sleep much. Invariably, all ppl here sleeping hours together. I have replenished almost all good movies in hard disks (Even some Tamil and Bangali movies too) and am up-to-date with many a series like Veronica Mars, Smallville, Two n Half men and most sitcoms on interet.
I don't have a girl friend. Infact, I was never close to a girl except Ikky and Chinu of schooldays to roam around with them without any inhibitions. I did get a few chances to take the first step in Delhi and Baroda after I came 2 Pune but didn't opt for those. Never felt like socializing with girls; so much so that it seems awkward to me now to approach ny.
So guys what to do? I feel what I need most now is a vacation... a long one to a far off place. A place like Port Blair or Dehra Dun will be perfect. Even the thoughts of a trip to Port Blair by ship excites me a lot. Alas! All my frnds are busy and moving out alone doesn't sound much of a good proposition.
I am still sitting in my room with a big hangover -no not of liquor but of boredom.
Why no social life? B'coz my batchmates are busy sleeping. Now, sitting back in my room, I wonder why didn't i sleep much. Invariably, all ppl here sleeping hours together. I have replenished almost all good movies in hard disks (Even some Tamil and Bangali movies too) and am up-to-date with many a series like Veronica Mars, Smallville, Two n Half men and most sitcoms on interet.
I don't have a girl friend. Infact, I was never close to a girl except Ikky and Chinu of schooldays to roam around with them without any inhibitions. I did get a few chances to take the first step in Delhi and Baroda after I came 2 Pune but didn't opt for those. Never felt like socializing with girls; so much so that it seems awkward to me now to approach ny.
So guys what to do? I feel what I need most now is a vacation... a long one to a far off place. A place like Port Blair or Dehra Dun will be perfect. Even the thoughts of a trip to Port Blair by ship excites me a lot. Alas! All my frnds are busy and moving out alone doesn't sound much of a good proposition.
I am still sitting in my room with a big hangover -no not of liquor but of boredom.
A love story_ Any resemblences are purely coincidental
Pradeep and I were friends, close friends. There wasn’t much common between us except that both of us were losers. We were two losers in an institute of achievers. I was not good at academics, nor was he. I could never make it to any sports team, nor could he. I didn’t have a girlfriend; same was the case with Pradeep.
You don’t know (if you never have been a loser) how painful a loser’s life is if he isn’t in the company of another. Loser compatriots, the real pain-killers, give you the assurance that every grape you can’t reach is sour, that every sport you don’t have the stamina to play is boring and that you’re a loner because none of the girls in this institute is pretty enough to be honoured with your company.
Ours was a peaceful world, built on our conception that achievers were achievers because they work hard, that we were no way inferior, just a little lazy; we didn’t hang out with girls not because we didn’t get dates but because we were still waiting for that dream girl.
Alas! One evening, all of it changed. News came in that a classmate by name Sukanya had attempted suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. She was taken to the hospital soon but her condition was serious even after six hours.
Now, this girl was the heartthrob of the institute. Beautiful, slim, with long dark hair, she was one of the best feminine ‘matters’ you could get in our institute. She was Pradeep’s lab partner in soil mechanics practical. Pradeep always had a crush on her but was never confident enough to ask her for a date… or at least I thought it was that way. In fact, Sukanya used to chat with him animatedly while Pradeep kept standing numb and nervous in lab classes.
I thought Pradeep never had the confidence to ask her out on a date but here I was proved wrong. News came that Sukanya had attempted suicide because Pradeep had rejected her! Let alone Pradeep’s rejection, it was tough for me to believe that she had fallen for Pradeep. He used to look dumb in her presence. However, the news was confirmed by her friends. She had tried calling Pradeep many times that day and even had some altercations with him on the mobile phone. ‘Pradeep’ was one of the few words on her lips while lying senseless in the hospital.
You never know what goes on in a beautiful girl’s mind and I kept wondering how she could fancy the noob that Pradeep was. Besides, she was always close to a guy called Anadi and we thought they were dating since a long time. I pitied Anadi. Anadi was one of those guys who was acquainted with all in the campus and had spent some quality time with most. Anadi was one of the few guys who were found in most friends circles in campus. He was a ‘stud’ but was a close friend of mine and Pradeep too.
Eager to find out what really happened, I rushed to Pradeep’s room to find him in the company of Somanchi and two other guys who don’t hold any relevance to the story. Of course, there are others in this circle of losers. Somanchi is a loser, albeit only in lack of female luck. There is a long list of girls – longer than this story is intended to last –Somanchi tried his luck with, without success. Unlike most losers who are sceptical of achievers, Somanchi acts like one. He often boasts of so-and-so girl he exploited and left after losing interest in her.
“If you are here to ask about the suicide, please don’t. As a friend, you are at least expected to understand my predicament,” Pradeep said as soon as I took a seat.
“And friends shouldn’t hide anything, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes! Even I have never hidden anything about my love life to you guys,” Somanchi blurted. Most of the tales about his love life being ‘tales’, his statement wasn’t really an expression of hurt feeling. It was evident from Pradeep’s expressions that he was serious, nervous and worried.
“Look guys, there is a girl in hospital and everyone thinks I’m the villain. It hurts me but I am not in a position to tell anything to anyone,” Pradeep said. “I didn’t think she would go that far” – this last sentence he muttered more to himself than to us.
Somanchi again blurted out, “You don’t know girls, especially the pretty ones. They can’t handle a single break-up easily. You know how Ayushka reacted when I broke up with her? I tried my best to make it easy. I explained to her that…” Once started, Somanchi wouldn’t stop unless his story was heard and appreciated. We all knew this girl Ayushka never existed, and if she did exist it must have been the other way round.
News in this institute spreads like wildfire. Overnight everyone knew that Sukanya had fallen in love with a guy called Pradeep and had attempted suicide when he rejected her. Pradeep became a star, a ‘stud’ in campus lingo. Words started floating in his praise –
“Who is Pradeep… oh that is him?”
“Lucky bastard. Must have used her a lot”
“Always maintains a low profile. Now I know why…”
“That’s why I was thinking why Sukanya wasn’t having a date for a long time”
“Must have done it with Sukanya before ditching her”
“Is she carrying or something?”
“Good for her. She thought only she could ditch guys”
Classes went on as they should but there was a marked difference this time. Pradeep had assumed heroic proportions among classmates, seniors and juniors. Those who didn’t know him just stared at him from a distance and whispered to each other; those who did came forward, exchanged a ‘hi’ and talked to him the way fast friends do. Girls tried to show anger and abhorrence but their eyes deceived them. All these years, Pradeep and I would move through the campus without being noticed by girls, without ever being greeted by any of the so-called studs. Now it was all changing, but only for Pradeep.
I hated being left behind. Before both of us were ignored but now it was only me. While walking together inside the campus or when sitting in the coffee shop, we met many others. They greeted Pradeep but not me. Those who did greet me talked to Pradeep about something or the other making me feel left out. I was filled with jealousy. I used to go to the institute on his bike but discontinued it when I felt that I was being viewed as an assistant. I started avoiding him as much as possible, both inside and outside the class.
And then news came that Sukanya was healing fast and was now ready to receive visitors. It became a big occasion for Pradeep and his new friends’ circle. There was a hot debate among Pradeep’s new-found friends and their girlfriends on whether he should pay Sukanya a visit. Finally he agreed to meet her. I had hoped that something awkward would happen there and I would get my friend back. But the visit went pretty smooth. Fresh news came in that Pradeep and Sukanya had decided to stay friends. The condition worsened. Girls, who earlier acted as if they scorned Pradeep, started talking with him. After all, he had apologized Sukanya and she had forgiven him. My distance with Pradeep further increased.
I had been introduced to Anadi by Pradeep but now Anadi and I became fast friends. Pradeep openly avoided Anadi. With me Pradeep made quite a few attempts to act as if nothing had happened and that we were still fast friends but I started avoiding him. The distance increased all the more as I was found in Anadi’s company most of the time and Pradeep was just avoiding him.
I consoled myself that I was happy. After all, Anadi was a great guy, was popular in campus and was a real stud. I avoided Somanchi also as Pradeep was still in his list of good friends. However, I couldn’t deny the fact that I was missing my old friends. Every time I faced Pradeep and gave him a cold ‘hi’ before showing him my back, I wished none of this had ever happened.
One day, after a fortnight or so, Pradeep came to my room. He was trying to be friendly but I talked to him as if he was just an acquaintance. We talked on various subjects – the electives and the summer heat – talk that seemed too formal for two guys who were best friends just weeks before. Suddenly Pradeep asked me not to be very friendly with Anadi. This infuriated me.
“Now, if you have a problem with Anadi, it is your problem not mine,” said I. “I never ditch my friends!”
“Neither do I but Anadi is a special case,” said Pradeep at perfect ease.
“As if Anadi is the only case,” I said sarcastically. I did lack the rationale then that it was I who had distanced myself from him, not he from me.
“Yes he is the only case,” Pradeep said firmly. It seemed as if he hadn’t even noticed the coldness in my tone.
“And can I know the special case? It is Sukanya, isn’t it?” I reasoned, “You stole her from him and then ditched her, so it should be Anadi who should avoid you. That guy often talks adoringly about you and is ready to reconcile, but not you!”
Pradeep started laughing and this irritated me further.
“What is the matter?” I asked.
“I could never tell you the truth about Sukanya’s suicide because of the oddity of the situation. Look, let me put some things straight. I did admire Sukanya, but who in campus didn’t? You think she could have ever fallen for a guy who didn’t exchange more than a couple of words with her even though she was his lab partner for one semester?”
“That was the first thing to come to my mind. But she did. You can never understand a girl’s choice…”
“True, you can never understand a girl’s choice. Why else would she go crazy over Anadi, a gay?”
That came as a bombshell. “A GAY?” I exclaimed.
“Yes. You remember Anadi was really close to us before Sukanya’s suicide attempt. The truth is that Sukanya was madly in love with Anadi – believe it or not – and had even proposed to him! Yeah, he really is a lucky bastard but as the saying goes ‘God never gives horns to horses but gives them to tame cows’. Anadi is gay and when he told her that, she tried to commit suicide.”
“So where do you come in?” I asked.
“That’s the most embarrassing part. Anadi considered her his best friend and told her what he hadn’t told anyone else – that he had feelings for me!” Pradeep made a grimace while saying this. “And Sukanya thought perhaps she could change him. You know, people generally don’t understand homosexuals in India. She was upset, so she got my number from somewhere and called me. I was shocked the moment she told me about it. I always sounded dumb while conversing with her. She wanted me to find a solution and, dumb that I am, I could only assure her of my being straight. That’s it. That’s where my part ends. Maybe she called Anadi and had some altercation that we don’t know of. What happened between her call to me and her suicide, I have no idea. She was mumbling my name in hospital because perhaps my name got stuck in her mind while she was taking the pills…”
There was a short pause during which I was looking at him incredulously. “Can you imagine the embarrassment I was going through when I was forced to visit her in the hospital?” he asked me.
I couldn’t control my laughter and kept laughing for a long time. Even Pradeep couldn’t control himself and we laughed our hearts out.
Pradeep was too embarrassed to tell this to anyone but eventually blurted it out to me… he didn’t mind looking like a fool in my eyes. But the episode didn’t end there. I, true to my nick ‘notice-board’, spread the message far and wide. Some believed, some rejected the real story behind Sukanya’s suicide, but we – the circle of losers – got a good topic to pull Pradeep’s legs.
You don’t know (if you never have been a loser) how painful a loser’s life is if he isn’t in the company of another. Loser compatriots, the real pain-killers, give you the assurance that every grape you can’t reach is sour, that every sport you don’t have the stamina to play is boring and that you’re a loner because none of the girls in this institute is pretty enough to be honoured with your company.
Ours was a peaceful world, built on our conception that achievers were achievers because they work hard, that we were no way inferior, just a little lazy; we didn’t hang out with girls not because we didn’t get dates but because we were still waiting for that dream girl.
Alas! One evening, all of it changed. News came in that a classmate by name Sukanya had attempted suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. She was taken to the hospital soon but her condition was serious even after six hours.
Now, this girl was the heartthrob of the institute. Beautiful, slim, with long dark hair, she was one of the best feminine ‘matters’ you could get in our institute. She was Pradeep’s lab partner in soil mechanics practical. Pradeep always had a crush on her but was never confident enough to ask her for a date… or at least I thought it was that way. In fact, Sukanya used to chat with him animatedly while Pradeep kept standing numb and nervous in lab classes.
I thought Pradeep never had the confidence to ask her out on a date but here I was proved wrong. News came that Sukanya had attempted suicide because Pradeep had rejected her! Let alone Pradeep’s rejection, it was tough for me to believe that she had fallen for Pradeep. He used to look dumb in her presence. However, the news was confirmed by her friends. She had tried calling Pradeep many times that day and even had some altercations with him on the mobile phone. ‘Pradeep’ was one of the few words on her lips while lying senseless in the hospital.
You never know what goes on in a beautiful girl’s mind and I kept wondering how she could fancy the noob that Pradeep was. Besides, she was always close to a guy called Anadi and we thought they were dating since a long time. I pitied Anadi. Anadi was one of those guys who was acquainted with all in the campus and had spent some quality time with most. Anadi was one of the few guys who were found in most friends circles in campus. He was a ‘stud’ but was a close friend of mine and Pradeep too.
Eager to find out what really happened, I rushed to Pradeep’s room to find him in the company of Somanchi and two other guys who don’t hold any relevance to the story. Of course, there are others in this circle of losers. Somanchi is a loser, albeit only in lack of female luck. There is a long list of girls – longer than this story is intended to last –Somanchi tried his luck with, without success. Unlike most losers who are sceptical of achievers, Somanchi acts like one. He often boasts of so-and-so girl he exploited and left after losing interest in her.
“If you are here to ask about the suicide, please don’t. As a friend, you are at least expected to understand my predicament,” Pradeep said as soon as I took a seat.
“And friends shouldn’t hide anything, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes! Even I have never hidden anything about my love life to you guys,” Somanchi blurted. Most of the tales about his love life being ‘tales’, his statement wasn’t really an expression of hurt feeling. It was evident from Pradeep’s expressions that he was serious, nervous and worried.
“Look guys, there is a girl in hospital and everyone thinks I’m the villain. It hurts me but I am not in a position to tell anything to anyone,” Pradeep said. “I didn’t think she would go that far” – this last sentence he muttered more to himself than to us.
Somanchi again blurted out, “You don’t know girls, especially the pretty ones. They can’t handle a single break-up easily. You know how Ayushka reacted when I broke up with her? I tried my best to make it easy. I explained to her that…” Once started, Somanchi wouldn’t stop unless his story was heard and appreciated. We all knew this girl Ayushka never existed, and if she did exist it must have been the other way round.
News in this institute spreads like wildfire. Overnight everyone knew that Sukanya had fallen in love with a guy called Pradeep and had attempted suicide when he rejected her. Pradeep became a star, a ‘stud’ in campus lingo. Words started floating in his praise –
“Who is Pradeep… oh that is him?”
“Lucky bastard. Must have used her a lot”
“Always maintains a low profile. Now I know why…”
“That’s why I was thinking why Sukanya wasn’t having a date for a long time”
“Must have done it with Sukanya before ditching her”
“Is she carrying or something?”
“Good for her. She thought only she could ditch guys”
Classes went on as they should but there was a marked difference this time. Pradeep had assumed heroic proportions among classmates, seniors and juniors. Those who didn’t know him just stared at him from a distance and whispered to each other; those who did came forward, exchanged a ‘hi’ and talked to him the way fast friends do. Girls tried to show anger and abhorrence but their eyes deceived them. All these years, Pradeep and I would move through the campus without being noticed by girls, without ever being greeted by any of the so-called studs. Now it was all changing, but only for Pradeep.
I hated being left behind. Before both of us were ignored but now it was only me. While walking together inside the campus or when sitting in the coffee shop, we met many others. They greeted Pradeep but not me. Those who did greet me talked to Pradeep about something or the other making me feel left out. I was filled with jealousy. I used to go to the institute on his bike but discontinued it when I felt that I was being viewed as an assistant. I started avoiding him as much as possible, both inside and outside the class.
And then news came that Sukanya was healing fast and was now ready to receive visitors. It became a big occasion for Pradeep and his new friends’ circle. There was a hot debate among Pradeep’s new-found friends and their girlfriends on whether he should pay Sukanya a visit. Finally he agreed to meet her. I had hoped that something awkward would happen there and I would get my friend back. But the visit went pretty smooth. Fresh news came in that Pradeep and Sukanya had decided to stay friends. The condition worsened. Girls, who earlier acted as if they scorned Pradeep, started talking with him. After all, he had apologized Sukanya and she had forgiven him. My distance with Pradeep further increased.
I had been introduced to Anadi by Pradeep but now Anadi and I became fast friends. Pradeep openly avoided Anadi. With me Pradeep made quite a few attempts to act as if nothing had happened and that we were still fast friends but I started avoiding him. The distance increased all the more as I was found in Anadi’s company most of the time and Pradeep was just avoiding him.
I consoled myself that I was happy. After all, Anadi was a great guy, was popular in campus and was a real stud. I avoided Somanchi also as Pradeep was still in his list of good friends. However, I couldn’t deny the fact that I was missing my old friends. Every time I faced Pradeep and gave him a cold ‘hi’ before showing him my back, I wished none of this had ever happened.
One day, after a fortnight or so, Pradeep came to my room. He was trying to be friendly but I talked to him as if he was just an acquaintance. We talked on various subjects – the electives and the summer heat – talk that seemed too formal for two guys who were best friends just weeks before. Suddenly Pradeep asked me not to be very friendly with Anadi. This infuriated me.
“Now, if you have a problem with Anadi, it is your problem not mine,” said I. “I never ditch my friends!”
“Neither do I but Anadi is a special case,” said Pradeep at perfect ease.
“As if Anadi is the only case,” I said sarcastically. I did lack the rationale then that it was I who had distanced myself from him, not he from me.
“Yes he is the only case,” Pradeep said firmly. It seemed as if he hadn’t even noticed the coldness in my tone.
“And can I know the special case? It is Sukanya, isn’t it?” I reasoned, “You stole her from him and then ditched her, so it should be Anadi who should avoid you. That guy often talks adoringly about you and is ready to reconcile, but not you!”
Pradeep started laughing and this irritated me further.
“What is the matter?” I asked.
“I could never tell you the truth about Sukanya’s suicide because of the oddity of the situation. Look, let me put some things straight. I did admire Sukanya, but who in campus didn’t? You think she could have ever fallen for a guy who didn’t exchange more than a couple of words with her even though she was his lab partner for one semester?”
“That was the first thing to come to my mind. But she did. You can never understand a girl’s choice…”
“True, you can never understand a girl’s choice. Why else would she go crazy over Anadi, a gay?”
That came as a bombshell. “A GAY?” I exclaimed.
“Yes. You remember Anadi was really close to us before Sukanya’s suicide attempt. The truth is that Sukanya was madly in love with Anadi – believe it or not – and had even proposed to him! Yeah, he really is a lucky bastard but as the saying goes ‘God never gives horns to horses but gives them to tame cows’. Anadi is gay and when he told her that, she tried to commit suicide.”
“So where do you come in?” I asked.
“That’s the most embarrassing part. Anadi considered her his best friend and told her what he hadn’t told anyone else – that he had feelings for me!” Pradeep made a grimace while saying this. “And Sukanya thought perhaps she could change him. You know, people generally don’t understand homosexuals in India. She was upset, so she got my number from somewhere and called me. I was shocked the moment she told me about it. I always sounded dumb while conversing with her. She wanted me to find a solution and, dumb that I am, I could only assure her of my being straight. That’s it. That’s where my part ends. Maybe she called Anadi and had some altercation that we don’t know of. What happened between her call to me and her suicide, I have no idea. She was mumbling my name in hospital because perhaps my name got stuck in her mind while she was taking the pills…”
There was a short pause during which I was looking at him incredulously. “Can you imagine the embarrassment I was going through when I was forced to visit her in the hospital?” he asked me.
I couldn’t control my laughter and kept laughing for a long time. Even Pradeep couldn’t control himself and we laughed our hearts out.
Pradeep was too embarrassed to tell this to anyone but eventually blurted it out to me… he didn’t mind looking like a fool in my eyes. But the episode didn’t end there. I, true to my nick ‘notice-board’, spread the message far and wide. Some believed, some rejected the real story behind Sukanya’s suicide, but we – the circle of losers – got a good topic to pull Pradeep’s legs.
The Hazards of Copying
Sorry that I had underestimated Varun Kumar. Today, I had my computer Software class test. The question pattern was objective type; I didn't feel the neccessity to have a look at the professor's notes.
Flanked by Nakul and RTR on either side, Prateek Neelesh, Varma and Yoganand babu(my condition wasn't obviously that worse as to make me copy from Babu) in the ventral and Mahesh at the back, I was soaring with confidence. Eight fill in the blanks and I found each of my copy-sources giving a different answer to each question. Ultimately, going by my intuition I found out the frequency of each result in the six sources and wrote down the mode.
After the exam, I was informed that questions were same in every paper. Even order of questions was the same. Only numerical data values varied from paper to paper
Flanked by Nakul and RTR on either side, Prateek Neelesh, Varma and Yoganand babu(my condition wasn't obviously that worse as to make me copy from Babu) in the ventral and Mahesh at the back, I was soaring with confidence. Eight fill in the blanks and I found each of my copy-sources giving a different answer to each question. Ultimately, going by my intuition I found out the frequency of each result in the six sources and wrote down the mode.
After the exam, I was informed that questions were same in every paper. Even order of questions was the same. Only numerical data values varied from paper to paper
After this dubious experience I felt like why there should be any exams in training institutes, I don't understand the utility of exams, especially in training institues. At least this system of demarcating student standard shouldn't be expected in our training institute. It’s really frustrating when u don't get marks- simply because you don't mug or don't find the subject interesting. What’s the need of mugging rules in Officer Capacity? Your only aim is to apply technology in practice, with rules readily available.
What really should be done is let go of this system and give marks based on real life application-based assignments and term projects. Someone please explain this to the Government people. How interesting General rules are when seen from practical point of view. N how many probationers remember the rules (after the exams) they mug just days before the exam? None
What really should be done is let go of this system and give marks based on real life application-based assignments and term projects. Someone please explain this to the Government people. How interesting General rules are when seen from practical point of view. N how many probationers remember the rules (after the exams) they mug just days before the exam? None
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