Bharat Darshan begins...
14 th Jan 2011
Baroda- Goa
How to , rather what's the right way to start a tour of 10 days spanning some 10 places in Western and southern India ? The constraint we were placed with, owing to the austerity drive of Govt of India, was that we can have only train through out the way through. The "bunch" at my academy were divided into five groups to span the entire country. Of these, I had chosen Goa Tour. This didnt go down with me initially because i wanted to be there -someplace out of Baroda - as soon as possible.
Yet, my perspective changed once the journey began. When you are travelling long, always start with a rail or road trip. It gives a kick, a positive orientation towards travelling. Rail, to be specific, makes u started for the journey ahead. When there is a long journey to chart, across various terrains and various weather situations, better go for a swinging pleasure - that of rail travel.
Whole of first day was lost in rail travel. But I would contend that it wasnt lost, rather gained. One, the day helped form a warm bonding in the group: its a group of 30, of batchmates who have been together all along yet dont know each other's likes and dislikes. On top of that, it warms one up with a game of 29 or bluff. Cards, I believe, are a good bond between pals.
The travel from Baroda To Goa was the first strand of our travel... a long travel, spanning the whole of Wetern India. And it was a good deal. The right person - Suresh -was made the group leader. Assisted by Akki Reddy and of course, Surya Moorthy, he was in resonance with needs of various group members. Luck I say. The right person was the group leader, for we got all along the trip tea, biscuits, and special meals from IRCTC's (who generally suck) pantry. This stuff was lined with an icing of cards, fellow passengers, and lively vegetation.
Talking of fellow passengers, Bhopal somehow got involved with a lady passenger. Attractive she was. And In-Form Bhopal was. Of course the Bunch had fun at his cost - asking him about bhabhiji and kids when he was busy "Flirting" (he contends it was just normal conversation with a fellow passenger :)).
Apart from this, there was the Berth-turned-Bar which was made possible thanks to Moola's timely procurement of some teachers and some more reinforcement by Yogi at Mumbai
Disclaimer: This of course doesnt mean drinks, just party-type lighting and music in the train
Mr. Swapnil Walinjkar remains central to the group. Doss-the-boss is the coolest of faculty at the hoodlum i am tied to. Being the coolest of all, he stays supportive and understanding of what a all-mens-group will be upto. While i wont get into what exactly we were upto, his presence instills confidence. Taste this dialogue of his:
Do u like fish or are you like fish?
This is a man who is a Professor, still is in students' mode. Sir has helped BAD BOYS in developing its perspective, more as a catalyst rather than as an imposing boss.
To be Continued further
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
MY FIRST EVER BOOK REVIEW
Even though done as a part of the mandatory exercise, I succumbed to the temptation of writing!!
Book: The Rise and Fall of The Third Reich
Author: William. L. Shirer
Publishers: Random House Publishers UK
Everybody has desire for power, but only few have the guts to grab it. Hitler is a peculiar character in history that exactly has those guts. No study of modern world history can be completed without mentioning him. People’s perceptions towards him are always extreme as was his ideology. There are some sections in German society, who literally laid down their lives to support him but the other side of the spectrum there is a section of people who are still witch-hunting the erstwhile Nazi party supporters. People are not able to have moderate feelings about him, same as Hitler could not be moderate in his ideology. But this book of William .L Shirer (An American Correspondent in Germany for Chicago Tribune) traces some of the positive traits of Hitler’s Spectacular journey towards the reins of power. His intense desire to power, his organizing skills, and his propaganda style (partly attributed to contribution of Gobles). Whatever main stream books that are available (at least what I have read) expose the events by considering Hitler as a person. I was kind of mesmerized by the author’s presentation of Hitler as an Organization with seemingly incredible self confidence. His narration exposed Hitler’s attitude of a go-getter and the way he presented made me feel that Hitler wants to do nothing short of conquering the world.
But the folly of the author lies in the second part of the story i.e fall of Nazi party after the successive losses in the World War 2. Author over emphasized on hypothetical reasons such as Hitler’s love story; his personal affairs to be the main reasons for the losses in the wars. But wide spectrum of historians believe that Hitler’s planning failures such as underestimating Russian Strength, his blind belief in Mackinder’s Heart land theory for planning his war, his naivety in estimating the war conditions, dynamics of world politics which forced the allied powers to unite, disunity among Axis powers etc as the main reasons for his fall. The author is inconsistent in his way of reasoning the things. It would be difficult to understand or rather incredible a man of his popularity, the most favorite blue-eyed boy of the German society, supposedly having millions of die-hard supporters could just die such a lonely death in the middle of nowhere in a Bunker getting his mangled body battered with bomb shells for nearly 5 days, if he could not give the proper account of the history. Probably the reason may be, it is the end result of the war which determines who is right and who is wrong, and history is written by the winners. Or Author could not come out the American trait of obsessive hate towards Hitler.
Another lesson which particularly Indian society can learn is “It is not the common man’s angry, but the intellectual’s silence that will handle the reins of powers to the dictators”. Indian society’s condition is something (if not exactly) similar to the conditions in Inter war period -German Society. The sympathy for Maoists on the pretext of the injustice to disadvantaged sections, The Islamophobia sweeping the world has Ideological predecessor in the form of anti Semitism. Space limitations and inappropriateness for the purpose will not allow me further elaboration. But certainly people can learn something from this historical lesson so that they are not swayed by the extremist ideologies.
Conclusion:
Hitler is more like sex, you can debate him, differ with him, oppose his deeds, hate his Ideology, But certainly cannot avoid him. So, for people who want know him, or interested in world politics or “Real PolitiK” this book can be a good feast (given its bulky volume).
K.V.Krishna Reddy
Roll Number: 78
AFP 02/10
Book: The Rise and Fall of The Third Reich
Author: William. L. Shirer
Publishers: Random House Publishers UK
Everybody has desire for power, but only few have the guts to grab it. Hitler is a peculiar character in history that exactly has those guts. No study of modern world history can be completed without mentioning him. People’s perceptions towards him are always extreme as was his ideology. There are some sections in German society, who literally laid down their lives to support him but the other side of the spectrum there is a section of people who are still witch-hunting the erstwhile Nazi party supporters. People are not able to have moderate feelings about him, same as Hitler could not be moderate in his ideology. But this book of William .L Shirer (An American Correspondent in Germany for Chicago Tribune) traces some of the positive traits of Hitler’s Spectacular journey towards the reins of power. His intense desire to power, his organizing skills, and his propaganda style (partly attributed to contribution of Gobles). Whatever main stream books that are available (at least what I have read) expose the events by considering Hitler as a person. I was kind of mesmerized by the author’s presentation of Hitler as an Organization with seemingly incredible self confidence. His narration exposed Hitler’s attitude of a go-getter and the way he presented made me feel that Hitler wants to do nothing short of conquering the world.
But the folly of the author lies in the second part of the story i.e fall of Nazi party after the successive losses in the World War 2. Author over emphasized on hypothetical reasons such as Hitler’s love story; his personal affairs to be the main reasons for the losses in the wars. But wide spectrum of historians believe that Hitler’s planning failures such as underestimating Russian Strength, his blind belief in Mackinder’s Heart land theory for planning his war, his naivety in estimating the war conditions, dynamics of world politics which forced the allied powers to unite, disunity among Axis powers etc as the main reasons for his fall. The author is inconsistent in his way of reasoning the things. It would be difficult to understand or rather incredible a man of his popularity, the most favorite blue-eyed boy of the German society, supposedly having millions of die-hard supporters could just die such a lonely death in the middle of nowhere in a Bunker getting his mangled body battered with bomb shells for nearly 5 days, if he could not give the proper account of the history. Probably the reason may be, it is the end result of the war which determines who is right and who is wrong, and history is written by the winners. Or Author could not come out the American trait of obsessive hate towards Hitler.
Another lesson which particularly Indian society can learn is “It is not the common man’s angry, but the intellectual’s silence that will handle the reins of powers to the dictators”. Indian society’s condition is something (if not exactly) similar to the conditions in Inter war period -German Society. The sympathy for Maoists on the pretext of the injustice to disadvantaged sections, The Islamophobia sweeping the world has Ideological predecessor in the form of anti Semitism. Space limitations and inappropriateness for the purpose will not allow me further elaboration. But certainly people can learn something from this historical lesson so that they are not swayed by the extremist ideologies.
Conclusion:
Hitler is more like sex, you can debate him, differ with him, oppose his deeds, hate his Ideology, But certainly cannot avoid him. So, for people who want know him, or interested in world politics or “Real PolitiK” this book can be a good feast (given its bulky volume).
K.V.Krishna Reddy
Roll Number: 78
AFP 02/10
The bloody gap
The patch has been there for quite some time. It is starkly visible every time I look into the mirror after a bath, but having convinced myself that it’s no reason to worry I comb in a few strands of hair to hide it. Realization dawns on me only after getting definite observational inputs from others – I am going bald!
There are only one individual of the fairer sex who consistently found me smart –my mother. Mother is blind to, or at least pretends, the problem. She gives me strong-smelling unbranded oil, which would assure me strong and supple hair.
My friends, intolerant of Mother’s smelly oil, encourage me to see a skin specialist. I consult a wide range of specialists, dishing out handsome amounts to each. A few prescribe some medicinal oil and vitamins. Few others opine that hair fall occurs when a person stays tensed for long time (as a matter of fact, I am so tense about this hair problem that it has turned into a vicious circle). Others, not so optimistic, reason that it is in my genes and I am doomed to go bald.
I am still not ready to accept the fate written on the walls of my DNA – Father has more hair at 48 than I have at 25, and none in the family tree as far as can be traced ever had a baldness problem. So I knock the doors of one of those homoeopathic clinics that make confident claims in ads printed in coloured leaflets slipped into the morning newspaper. ‘If given due time, our cure is found effective in eighty percent of the cases…’
A year and a half down the line, I find no improvement. On the contrary, hair seems to fall at a faster rate now. I give up on the medications and therapies. But it doesn’t mean that I have reconciled to my fate. Actually my attitude has changed over time. Hair loss is not a problem now because I don’t see it as a problem any longer. Why so much ado about hair? Hair is, after all, a redundant part of the body just like the appendices; that one has to go to the barber every time it outgrows.
And then, today, I find a yellow-coloured leaflet tucked inside the morning newspaper. It is an ad informing me about a hair weaving clinic set up in the city of Baroda. Instinctively, I get hold of my mobile and dial the number…
There are only one individual of the fairer sex who consistently found me smart –my mother. Mother is blind to, or at least pretends, the problem. She gives me strong-smelling unbranded oil, which would assure me strong and supple hair.
My friends, intolerant of Mother’s smelly oil, encourage me to see a skin specialist. I consult a wide range of specialists, dishing out handsome amounts to each. A few prescribe some medicinal oil and vitamins. Few others opine that hair fall occurs when a person stays tensed for long time (as a matter of fact, I am so tense about this hair problem that it has turned into a vicious circle). Others, not so optimistic, reason that it is in my genes and I am doomed to go bald.
I am still not ready to accept the fate written on the walls of my DNA – Father has more hair at 48 than I have at 25, and none in the family tree as far as can be traced ever had a baldness problem. So I knock the doors of one of those homoeopathic clinics that make confident claims in ads printed in coloured leaflets slipped into the morning newspaper. ‘If given due time, our cure is found effective in eighty percent of the cases…’
A year and a half down the line, I find no improvement. On the contrary, hair seems to fall at a faster rate now. I give up on the medications and therapies. But it doesn’t mean that I have reconciled to my fate. Actually my attitude has changed over time. Hair loss is not a problem now because I don’t see it as a problem any longer. Why so much ado about hair? Hair is, after all, a redundant part of the body just like the appendices; that one has to go to the barber every time it outgrows.
And then, today, I find a yellow-coloured leaflet tucked inside the morning newspaper. It is an ad informing me about a hair weaving clinic set up in the city of Baroda. Instinctively, I get hold of my mobile and dial the number…
Monday, January 3, 2011
My journey towards Blog spot
My blog has few serious thoughts, little wisdom but mostly nonsense, as Wordpress people are demanding more money for this non sense, i ve shifted to this "Free blog" spot, pasted many of the things, that are there in that wordpress blog,, and i confess that this wisdom/non-sense as the case may be taken from different temporal and spatial contexts,from the people whom i met. so, dont get hyper if you identify any character resembles you or your life!!
Trivials of Geo Technical Lab
On soil lab
Following is an anecdotic set-up of what happened to us (me and ...) in last sem's Geo Technical Engineering Viva. Obviously, many anecdotes from other such vivas have been borrowed to make it a "concrete" story. Read on...
On being Thrown Out…
*Names mis-spelt to protect identity
Two-thirty in the afternoon. And it is dark…my brain. I am trying to console myself-‘you have gone through this before. But…but have you ever before dealt three heavyweights like TKB, AKS and NKK at the same time?’ I looked around for help. None. Geo-tech lab at that hour was more sickening than a government hospital, even though it doesn’t smell, nor does it have the visual impact patients and syringes produce.
There are, as critics believe, four kinds of students who do experiments in an electrical lab- 1. Those who know and have the enthusiasm to do 2. Those who know but don’t do anything 3. Those who don’t know anything but fiddle with something or the other (leading the group into a repeat lab) and 4. those who neither know anything nor do anything. And ours was a group that had a representative each from the four above mentioned categories- Manohar*, Krish(geddam)*, myself and Balakrishna(bala)*- in the order as introduced.
On that fateful day, Bala and Krish were sitting to my right- both as uncertain as me- and Manohar to the left. There was but a small consolation- Bala can’t perform better than me. We were sitting face-to-face with three professors, the protagonists of this plot, Prof. AK S, Prof. NKK and Prof. TKB. Also seen in this scene are two research scholars, who don’t seem to pose any threat.
NKK, as mirthful as ever, asks: ‘Good afternoon students. So, let us know what you have learnt in this course
Bala, always in a hurry to impress : Sir, we learnt Geo Technical Engineering
Think before you answer idiot. The course name is Geo Technical Engineering.
AKS, in his scornful tone: ‘Geo Technical! So can I take the liberty of asking anything from GeoTech?’
‘Sure sir. But we believe, we learnt the most in Soil Mechanics lad’ Krish says, trying to protect us from two calamities namely Foundation Lab and Rock Mechanics Lab.
‘Soil Lab. I see! It seems every group understands experiments done in Foundation lab or HV Lab. So, why don’t you take over prof. Kishore’ AKS says, in a dry satiric tone.
NKK is overjoyed and in his excitement, asks a question on Soil Mechanics that leaves us clueless.
A short silence. I was tempted to give an answer but drew back in the last moment as I recalled my strategy- Its relative grading Krishna. Let them give wrong answers.. Just nod your head and wait for the perfect question. They are bound to give an easy question. Grab it as and when it comes your way.
AKS, in the same dry tone: ‘We are expecting an answer’.
Manohar (who else?): ‘Sir, the Kaolinite particles of clay…’ I could feel his throat go dry, ‘In sphere to sphere…better than plane to plane. Like sir, it is…’
We gather the hint and start off. ‘KAOLINITE’ popped out of my mouth in a heavy Telugu accent, but I controlled myself before anything else could slip off my tongue. Bala, always eager to tell something, says, ‘Sir, actually what happens, KALINITE' flocculated stucture takes place because of…because of impurities like moisture and dust particles’ Bala's eyes turn around appealing for a backup but I resolve not to give any. Finally, Krish starts off. The strong point of Krish is that he can say anything bogus in a convincing manner and repeat the same thing in multiple gramatically correct sentences. His hands are in mid-air, trying to explain something neither we nor the professors can decipher- ‘The planes are like this…but in case of a sphere-plane alignment, we see that…we find that…”
NKK: ‘Hahaha. So is this what you learnt in Soil Mechanics Lab?’
AKS: ‘You people…you people don’t read books, don’t ask doubts. We give you internet and you start misusing it. Have you ever used it for any constructive purpose? And yes. There is a huge library at the entrance of the main building. Have you ever been there?’
The Library. Oh yes. What better place than journal section to beat the summer heat? The internet thing was limited to a sentence, given the fact that these events took place much before the baazi.com disclosure.
TKB (at last!): ‘I don’t understand why you are a passive lot. First I thought it is the drudged ness of the campus. But no. You have all sorts of cultural and sports events going on. You have such good facilities. I don’t understand what goes wrong. Do whatever you find interesting, but do something. We can’t force you, but for the time you are here, do something’
AKS: Prof. TKB, these people should be thrown out of this lab
NKK: Oh no! Lets give them another chance. Prof.TKB, why don’t you ask something?
TKB: Ok. What is Liquifaction?
And Mahish scores! It occurs during Earth quake. AKS gets excited, now that a team member has opened the account and we are expected to follow suit. But alas! That was the last correct answer. They ask us about the Clay minerelogy and particle size distribution of Different soils, seive analysis results, Consistency limits, ISI Classification , but no pausible answer comes out. Frustration is ripe on the professors’ face, and a hope dawns on me that they may leave us now…
TKB is expected to give a concluding remark. He starts:
‘Is there anyone from Zanskar house here’
I spring up after maintaining a low profile all through. May be I could get some marks on Hall sento. But hey! TKB is a Kumaon alumnus. Isn’t he?
Everyone is enlivened by the anecdote, everyone but the four victims. NKK never looked this happy. The research scholars, frust spirits that they are, also chuckle. A smile escapes even from the lips of AKS, who otherwise always puts up an expression similar to prof. Snape of the Harry Potter series. Was Rowling inspired by our AKS? Not very improbable.
TKB: ‘What is Highly plastic soil?’
And Krish scores! It is the soil whose liquid limit is more than 50%! Oh God! Krish has scored. Even Bala, though never correct, has participated in the discussion. I can’t take any chance. If there is any question coming up, I have to answer that.
NKK prompts a research scholar to ask us something. The research scholar starts: ‘You see, in a Well foundation, I hope you know what Well foundation is? So…’
Of course I know. I have to answer a question and this is it. I interrupt before he completes his question…
‘Yes. Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’ I stated.
Immediately, five pairs of eyes rest on me. AKS’s eyeballs are protruding dangerously out of the socket and it seems will fall on me any moment. Hey, what has gone wrong? Ok guys, I repeat my answer…
Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’
I know I am a student of immense caliber. A renowned astrologer in Kakinada had said that. But I never had realised I could leave three senior professors of Civil engineering department SHOCKED. There is a half-a-minute silence, sounding more melancholic than a thriller, and Bala opens his mouth.
Bala is never certain about anything, and starts with a shaky tone: ‘Sir, Well foundation is used for supporting large loads by the foundation’. ‘YES’, NKK yells, and I swear it’s the first time I have seen him yell.
There seems to be a crowd applauding Bala’s victory over me. And I could see Bala waving back at the crowd. You bloody Bala. You opportunistic swine. How come you know the answer?And look…you have devastated me.
TKB, in a resigned tone: ‘Go and call the next group’.
All the same, we are eager to. We rise from our seat and are about to leave the lab when NKK calls back.
‘How a well foundation is constructed?’ he asks me, but I act as if I haven’t listened.
Bala, confident that he is in lieu of his previous victory, answers, ‘Well foundation is sinked into the soil before application of load!
TKB: And How it is sinked?
Bala: It would be by application of load by a crane, may be a tower crane
Another silence, this time extending beyond half-a-second and more melancholic than the previous one.
NKK, regaining his composure and sense of humour, says: ‘You were wrong Prof. AKS when you said these people should be thrown out of this lab. These people should be thrown out of the institute’
Following is an anecdotic set-up of what happened to us (me and ...) in last sem's Geo Technical Engineering Viva. Obviously, many anecdotes from other such vivas have been borrowed to make it a "concrete" story. Read on...
On being Thrown Out…
*Names mis-spelt to protect identity
Two-thirty in the afternoon. And it is dark…my brain. I am trying to console myself-‘you have gone through this before. But…but have you ever before dealt three heavyweights like TKB, AKS and NKK at the same time?’ I looked around for help. None. Geo-tech lab at that hour was more sickening than a government hospital, even though it doesn’t smell, nor does it have the visual impact patients and syringes produce.
There are, as critics believe, four kinds of students who do experiments in an electrical lab- 1. Those who know and have the enthusiasm to do 2. Those who know but don’t do anything 3. Those who don’t know anything but fiddle with something or the other (leading the group into a repeat lab) and 4. those who neither know anything nor do anything. And ours was a group that had a representative each from the four above mentioned categories- Manohar*, Krish(geddam)*, myself and Balakrishna(bala)*- in the order as introduced.
On that fateful day, Bala and Krish were sitting to my right- both as uncertain as me- and Manohar to the left. There was but a small consolation- Bala can’t perform better than me. We were sitting face-to-face with three professors, the protagonists of this plot, Prof. AK S, Prof. NKK and Prof. TKB. Also seen in this scene are two research scholars, who don’t seem to pose any threat.
NKK, as mirthful as ever, asks: ‘Good afternoon students. So, let us know what you have learnt in this course
Bala, always in a hurry to impress : Sir, we learnt Geo Technical Engineering
Think before you answer idiot. The course name is Geo Technical Engineering.
AKS, in his scornful tone: ‘Geo Technical! So can I take the liberty of asking anything from GeoTech?’
‘Sure sir. But we believe, we learnt the most in Soil Mechanics lad’ Krish says, trying to protect us from two calamities namely Foundation Lab and Rock Mechanics Lab.
‘Soil Lab. I see! It seems every group understands experiments done in Foundation lab or HV Lab. So, why don’t you take over prof. Kishore’ AKS says, in a dry satiric tone.
NKK is overjoyed and in his excitement, asks a question on Soil Mechanics that leaves us clueless.
A short silence. I was tempted to give an answer but drew back in the last moment as I recalled my strategy- Its relative grading Krishna. Let them give wrong answers.. Just nod your head and wait for the perfect question. They are bound to give an easy question. Grab it as and when it comes your way.
AKS, in the same dry tone: ‘We are expecting an answer’.
Manohar (who else?): ‘Sir, the Kaolinite particles of clay…’ I could feel his throat go dry, ‘In sphere to sphere…better than plane to plane. Like sir, it is…’
We gather the hint and start off. ‘KAOLINITE’ popped out of my mouth in a heavy Telugu accent, but I controlled myself before anything else could slip off my tongue. Bala, always eager to tell something, says, ‘Sir, actually what happens, KALINITE' flocculated stucture takes place because of…because of impurities like moisture and dust particles’ Bala's eyes turn around appealing for a backup but I resolve not to give any. Finally, Krish starts off. The strong point of Krish is that he can say anything bogus in a convincing manner and repeat the same thing in multiple gramatically correct sentences. His hands are in mid-air, trying to explain something neither we nor the professors can decipher- ‘The planes are like this…but in case of a sphere-plane alignment, we see that…we find that…”
NKK: ‘Hahaha. So is this what you learnt in Soil Mechanics Lab?’
AKS: ‘You people…you people don’t read books, don’t ask doubts. We give you internet and you start misusing it. Have you ever used it for any constructive purpose? And yes. There is a huge library at the entrance of the main building. Have you ever been there?’
The Library. Oh yes. What better place than journal section to beat the summer heat? The internet thing was limited to a sentence, given the fact that these events took place much before the baazi.com disclosure.
TKB (at last!): ‘I don’t understand why you are a passive lot. First I thought it is the drudged ness of the campus. But no. You have all sorts of cultural and sports events going on. You have such good facilities. I don’t understand what goes wrong. Do whatever you find interesting, but do something. We can’t force you, but for the time you are here, do something’
AKS: Prof. TKB, these people should be thrown out of this lab
NKK: Oh no! Lets give them another chance. Prof.TKB, why don’t you ask something?
TKB: Ok. What is Liquifaction?
And Mahish scores! It occurs during Earth quake. AKS gets excited, now that a team member has opened the account and we are expected to follow suit. But alas! That was the last correct answer. They ask us about the Clay minerelogy and particle size distribution of Different soils, seive analysis results, Consistency limits, ISI Classification , but no pausible answer comes out. Frustration is ripe on the professors’ face, and a hope dawns on me that they may leave us now…
TKB is expected to give a concluding remark. He starts:
‘Is there anyone from Zanskar house here’
I spring up after maintaining a low profile all through. May be I could get some marks on Hall sento. But hey! TKB is a Kumaon alumnus. Isn’t he?
Everyone is enlivened by the anecdote, everyone but the four victims. NKK never looked this happy. The research scholars, frust spirits that they are, also chuckle. A smile escapes even from the lips of AKS, who otherwise always puts up an expression similar to prof. Snape of the Harry Potter series. Was Rowling inspired by our AKS? Not very improbable.
TKB: ‘What is Highly plastic soil?’
And Krish scores! It is the soil whose liquid limit is more than 50%! Oh God! Krish has scored. Even Bala, though never correct, has participated in the discussion. I can’t take any chance. If there is any question coming up, I have to answer that.
NKK prompts a research scholar to ask us something. The research scholar starts: ‘You see, in a Well foundation, I hope you know what Well foundation is? So…’
Of course I know. I have to answer a question and this is it. I interrupt before he completes his question…
‘Yes. Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’ I stated.
Immediately, five pairs of eyes rest on me. AKS’s eyeballs are protruding dangerously out of the socket and it seems will fall on me any moment. Hey, what has gone wrong? Ok guys, I repeat my answer…
Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’
I know I am a student of immense caliber. A renowned astrologer in Kakinada had said that. But I never had realised I could leave three senior professors of Civil engineering department SHOCKED. There is a half-a-minute silence, sounding more melancholic than a thriller, and Bala opens his mouth.
Bala is never certain about anything, and starts with a shaky tone: ‘Sir, Well foundation is used for supporting large loads by the foundation’. ‘YES’, NKK yells, and I swear it’s the first time I have seen him yell.
There seems to be a crowd applauding Bala’s victory over me. And I could see Bala waving back at the crowd. You bloody Bala. You opportunistic swine. How come you know the answer?And look…you have devastated me.
TKB, in a resigned tone: ‘Go and call the next group’.
All the same, we are eager to. We rise from our seat and are about to leave the lab when NKK calls back.
‘How a well foundation is constructed?’ he asks me, but I act as if I haven’t listened.
Bala, confident that he is in lieu of his previous victory, answers, ‘Well foundation is sinked into the soil before application of load!
TKB: And How it is sinked?
Bala: It would be by application of load by a crane, may be a tower crane
Another silence, this time extending beyond half-a-second and more melancholic than the previous one.
NKK, regaining his composure and sense of humour, says: ‘You were wrong Prof. AKS when you said these people should be thrown out of this lab. These people should be thrown out of the institute’
Recession Blues
I was never been sure what i wants to be in life. I entered IIT because IIT is a gateway for the middle class to enhanced economic prosperity. My parents, like most other Andhra Pradesh parents, were more concerned with the prestige element.
No doubt, I used to be confused all the time at the institute. I saw people aspiring for management schools and started preparing for the same. After a fortnight I realised my English is beyond redemption and so dropped the plan. At one point in time, I wanted to write the GRE and go abroad for higher studies, and this time all was going well. Alas, I messed up with my graduation project and the project guide made it clear that I shouldn’t expect any recommendation from him.
Very soon I got fascinated with the civil service. I was entranced by the facilities and powers enjoyed by a civil servant; the biggest attraction, however, was the huge under-table transactions, as well as hope of getting an enhanced dowry package.
No lunch is free; in much the same way no job waits for you. It took a long time for me to realise that aspiring is easier than actually clearing the civil service exams. A three-staged recruitment process ranging over a year and an average success rate of around one in ten thousand is not a cake walk. But, eventually, i ve stated preparation.Eventually i ve joined the frustated souls of IIT delhi civils preparing batch.
But no! my story isn’t over yet. In fact it starts now, given that campus placement has just begun, That to in an recession year, i badly need a job because i felt that once out of campus, it would be very difficult to get job, in any case i wont join job, But it certainly will effect my confidence level,I Hate software jobs – “I will be made to work like a dog for every penny I get” – I used to quote. I had many favourable elements in my CV. I had a good grade point average . I was convinced that companies were waiting just for me and so resolved that i would enter one of those high-paying management or oil companies.
I got himself some formal wear – made a lot of fuss on the shirt-trousers colour combination and invested generously in tie and shoes. I am now ready to grab his dream job.
HLL and Lehmon Brothers scanned me out in the CV stage itself. I managed to enter the group discussion level in ITC but couldn’t make any headway from there as the only thing i did was nod his head while others did the talking. That day i resolved not to wear ITC-made T-Shirts any longer. After the first interview round at Schlumberger, which I couldn’t clear, I realised the importance of extra-curricular activities to get me into the FMCG or oil sectors. I immediately used my well-placed contacts to get certificates certifying that I was an Inter-IIT gold medallist in football. Friends suggested, looking at the unusual anatomy i had, that i take volleyball or cricket, but i settled for nothing less that football.
The interviewers from Shell were extremely pleased. Good at academics, good at sports and good at hall activities (i got a certificate issued from the hall that i was general secretary of the mess).
“What position do you play in football?”
I drew a blank at that first question. I had mugged up the names of many clubs and players but he had just forgotten to memorize the game.
“I… I think… no, I am the goal keeper.”
“I guessed so, looking at your build.”
I didn’t sound very convincing. Luckily the person facing me also wasn’t good at football and so I wasn’t grilled much on the topic.
“During my graduation days mess food was horrible. Tell me what your responsibilities are as a mess secretary?” the interviewer asked.
“A… eeh… uh… well… Supervising the cooks,” I mumbled.
“Ok, thank you. It has been a pleasure meeting you.” Translation: “Get out. You’ve already wasted much of my time.”
A wise man is he who learns from experiences. I dumped the forged certificates and got ready for an assault on core Civil companies – TCE,L&T, Patel, DLF Reliance, to name a few. I then realised that i a good grade point average by being a book worm, a kind of person which civil engg companies will not be preferring( they needed Leadership skills and all that crap)
After facing the interview board of such companies I realized the importance of the Extra culrricular activities and most importantly getting certified for that. But it was too late and almost all core companies had gone. From now on, software companies, big and small, will parade into the campus and will take away truck-loads of cheap labour.
Mind you, there is variety in software companies also. There are start-ups that give stock options and a decent pay; then there are the multinationals that pay you six lacs+ per year and make you do work worth fifteen; the BPOs that practically end up changing your body rhythm; and last but not the least our very own Infosys, Wipro and Satyam which, as per a popular rhyme in campus, pay quite enough to manage:
Two square meals a day
A modest room to stay
And a blanket to keep the winters at bay
If you spend prudently (by taking one meal a day and supplementing the room by a cell) you may save something for your insurance policy also.
Even though i was tempted to sit for these companies as welI, i finally managed to abstain from these firms. I sat for Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman Sachs technical positions. From Oracle I learnt that you can’t predict the future, that is, the questions they ask in technical rounds. From D.E. Shaw I learnt that you can be either right or wrong in a technical interview, but in the HR interview you think you are right but you are wrong.
The Goldman Sachs interview went quite well. I am a wise man who learns from his mistakes and doesn’t repeat them. After the HR round, I was asked if he had any questions. I frankly said he had none. Of course I had none. I am ready to work in a coal mine for the brand name of Goldman. Goldman Sachs didn’t take me. Someone pointed out that if you don’t ask them any questions, the company thinks you are desperate. “Isn’t it enough that I answer all their untoward questions? Do I have to ask them some too?” I practically shouted in frustration that day.
And the story continued… clouds came and went but I saw no rain, very much like Mithun Da’s movies.
There were many moisture-laden clouds
But no rain for me
Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman
But no gold for me
Then comes a company
Called Simpany*
(*Name misspelt to protect me against litigation)
But the only solace i had is nobody from civil engineering is being placed except some studs of electronics and CSC. So, i am now the king of donkeys
By this time i am qualified enough to write the book ‘How to face an interview board’ i now regularly checks the websites of all companies I sits for and called up seniors in the company to get inputs on the nature of work the company does. I finds that Simpany is a reputed Indian firm.
Clearing the technical round was no longer a problem for me. Next came the HR round. The first few questions, “Tell us something about yourself”, “Why do you want to join the company”, etc. went perfectly well. Then i was asked, “What are your career plans?”
“I want to be the CEO of Simpany someday.” A classmate had impressed the panel of another company by saying this but with all due respect to my copy-and-paste ability, i was posted in Austria and aspiring for the post of CEO was just too ambitious.
Perhaps the interviewer also thought so. “Do you know who the present CEO of Simpany is?”
I again managed to make a fool of me. I mugged everything from the website except this small bit of information.
The interviewer moved on: “Do you have any questions?”
“Sir, can you tell me about the work culture at Simpany?” I asked even though his expression meant: “Just take me in. I have been wearing these formals for three months now and am ready to work for any company. Oh, I regret the day I didn’t sit for the Infy and Wipro interviews! I will do whatever work you ask me to – software, hardware, carry bricks and cement, clean the toilets or serve food – whatever you say.”
It seems like the company was in need of many quality students (some companies have a notion that students from IITs have a lot of grey cells) and so recruited almost all who had applied for the job. The pay wasn’t as good as i aspired when placement season had started. In fact, the pay wasn’t half as good as i aspired then, still it was a good company, and i found out a dozen odd reasons to convince himself and friends and family that i got my dream job!!
No doubt, I used to be confused all the time at the institute. I saw people aspiring for management schools and started preparing for the same. After a fortnight I realised my English is beyond redemption and so dropped the plan. At one point in time, I wanted to write the GRE and go abroad for higher studies, and this time all was going well. Alas, I messed up with my graduation project and the project guide made it clear that I shouldn’t expect any recommendation from him.
Very soon I got fascinated with the civil service. I was entranced by the facilities and powers enjoyed by a civil servant; the biggest attraction, however, was the huge under-table transactions, as well as hope of getting an enhanced dowry package.
No lunch is free; in much the same way no job waits for you. It took a long time for me to realise that aspiring is easier than actually clearing the civil service exams. A three-staged recruitment process ranging over a year and an average success rate of around one in ten thousand is not a cake walk. But, eventually, i ve stated preparation.Eventually i ve joined the frustated souls of IIT delhi civils preparing batch.
But no! my story isn’t over yet. In fact it starts now, given that campus placement has just begun, That to in an recession year, i badly need a job because i felt that once out of campus, it would be very difficult to get job, in any case i wont join job, But it certainly will effect my confidence level,I Hate software jobs – “I will be made to work like a dog for every penny I get” – I used to quote. I had many favourable elements in my CV. I had a good grade point average . I was convinced that companies were waiting just for me and so resolved that i would enter one of those high-paying management or oil companies.
I got himself some formal wear – made a lot of fuss on the shirt-trousers colour combination and invested generously in tie and shoes. I am now ready to grab his dream job.
HLL and Lehmon Brothers scanned me out in the CV stage itself. I managed to enter the group discussion level in ITC but couldn’t make any headway from there as the only thing i did was nod his head while others did the talking. That day i resolved not to wear ITC-made T-Shirts any longer. After the first interview round at Schlumberger, which I couldn’t clear, I realised the importance of extra-curricular activities to get me into the FMCG or oil sectors. I immediately used my well-placed contacts to get certificates certifying that I was an Inter-IIT gold medallist in football. Friends suggested, looking at the unusual anatomy i had, that i take volleyball or cricket, but i settled for nothing less that football.
The interviewers from Shell were extremely pleased. Good at academics, good at sports and good at hall activities (i got a certificate issued from the hall that i was general secretary of the mess).
“What position do you play in football?”
I drew a blank at that first question. I had mugged up the names of many clubs and players but he had just forgotten to memorize the game.
“I… I think… no, I am the goal keeper.”
“I guessed so, looking at your build.”
I didn’t sound very convincing. Luckily the person facing me also wasn’t good at football and so I wasn’t grilled much on the topic.
“During my graduation days mess food was horrible. Tell me what your responsibilities are as a mess secretary?” the interviewer asked.
“A… eeh… uh… well… Supervising the cooks,” I mumbled.
“Ok, thank you. It has been a pleasure meeting you.” Translation: “Get out. You’ve already wasted much of my time.”
A wise man is he who learns from experiences. I dumped the forged certificates and got ready for an assault on core Civil companies – TCE,L&T, Patel, DLF Reliance, to name a few. I then realised that i a good grade point average by being a book worm, a kind of person which civil engg companies will not be preferring( they needed Leadership skills and all that crap)
After facing the interview board of such companies I realized the importance of the Extra culrricular activities and most importantly getting certified for that. But it was too late and almost all core companies had gone. From now on, software companies, big and small, will parade into the campus and will take away truck-loads of cheap labour.
Mind you, there is variety in software companies also. There are start-ups that give stock options and a decent pay; then there are the multinationals that pay you six lacs+ per year and make you do work worth fifteen; the BPOs that practically end up changing your body rhythm; and last but not the least our very own Infosys, Wipro and Satyam which, as per a popular rhyme in campus, pay quite enough to manage:
Two square meals a day
A modest room to stay
And a blanket to keep the winters at bay
If you spend prudently (by taking one meal a day and supplementing the room by a cell) you may save something for your insurance policy also.
Even though i was tempted to sit for these companies as welI, i finally managed to abstain from these firms. I sat for Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman Sachs technical positions. From Oracle I learnt that you can’t predict the future, that is, the questions they ask in technical rounds. From D.E. Shaw I learnt that you can be either right or wrong in a technical interview, but in the HR interview you think you are right but you are wrong.
The Goldman Sachs interview went quite well. I am a wise man who learns from his mistakes and doesn’t repeat them. After the HR round, I was asked if he had any questions. I frankly said he had none. Of course I had none. I am ready to work in a coal mine for the brand name of Goldman. Goldman Sachs didn’t take me. Someone pointed out that if you don’t ask them any questions, the company thinks you are desperate. “Isn’t it enough that I answer all their untoward questions? Do I have to ask them some too?” I practically shouted in frustration that day.
And the story continued… clouds came and went but I saw no rain, very much like Mithun Da’s movies.
There were many moisture-laden clouds
But no rain for me
Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman
But no gold for me
Then comes a company
Called Simpany*
(*Name misspelt to protect me against litigation)
But the only solace i had is nobody from civil engineering is being placed except some studs of electronics and CSC. So, i am now the king of donkeys
By this time i am qualified enough to write the book ‘How to face an interview board’ i now regularly checks the websites of all companies I sits for and called up seniors in the company to get inputs on the nature of work the company does. I finds that Simpany is a reputed Indian firm.
Clearing the technical round was no longer a problem for me. Next came the HR round. The first few questions, “Tell us something about yourself”, “Why do you want to join the company”, etc. went perfectly well. Then i was asked, “What are your career plans?”
“I want to be the CEO of Simpany someday.” A classmate had impressed the panel of another company by saying this but with all due respect to my copy-and-paste ability, i was posted in Austria and aspiring for the post of CEO was just too ambitious.
Perhaps the interviewer also thought so. “Do you know who the present CEO of Simpany is?”
I again managed to make a fool of me. I mugged everything from the website except this small bit of information.
The interviewer moved on: “Do you have any questions?”
“Sir, can you tell me about the work culture at Simpany?” I asked even though his expression meant: “Just take me in. I have been wearing these formals for three months now and am ready to work for any company. Oh, I regret the day I didn’t sit for the Infy and Wipro interviews! I will do whatever work you ask me to – software, hardware, carry bricks and cement, clean the toilets or serve food – whatever you say.”
It seems like the company was in need of many quality students (some companies have a notion that students from IITs have a lot of grey cells) and so recruited almost all who had applied for the job. The pay wasn’t as good as i aspired when placement season had started. In fact, the pay wasn’t half as good as i aspired then, still it was a good company, and i found out a dozen odd reasons to convince himself and friends and family that i got my dream job!!
AN INTROSPECTIVE ANALYSIS OF ME-----An elaborative study of psychological theories and their introspective applications to myself have left me more confused than I was prior to the insight
I have many defects in me, but I have always been proud of the fact that I have substantial (if not absolute) knowledge of my weaknesses; that I am pretty receptive to criticism from others and at least try not to be messy. However, an elaborative study of psychological theories and their introspective applications to myself have left me more confused than I was prior to the insight.
If you want to know what it is that has worried me, let me summarise it for you:
1. I crack sarcastic jokes at the expense of invariably everyone in my personal sphere of influence, sometimes humorous but often dry and cruel to the subject of the jokes.
2. I commit many follies, rather idiosyncrasies, in spite of intentions contrary to such, almost impulsively and later wonder how I could commit such
3. I am the master of indecision. I think over every issue a dozen times and end up more confused than when I start. Pretty much like ‘The Argumentative Indian’ who, according to Prof. Amartya Sen, “sometimes argues for the sake of arguing.”
4. I have been mired by seemingly illogical inferiority complexes in life. There was a period in my undergrad days when I just stayed away from people. That was a time when I was too conscious of what people thought about me, inflated what I thought people think of me to infinite proportions and stayed out of social gatherings. Indeed, it won’t be wrong to assume I was going through a period of depression and intense negative, self-defeating thoughts.
It is not that I am not in the know of these. It usually happens that many don’t understand the reasons for their follies. That, of course, isn’t the case with me since I think a lot. I have been trying hard for nearly three years now to account for these lacunae in my personality, but to no avail. I see something to be laughed at and out comes some instinctive comment from my mouth. I try hard not to make a fool of myself and ultimately make a greater mess.
An understanding of these aspects of myself can be made from a psycho-analytic perspective or from the humanistic perspective of personality. I leave out the behaviourists whose personality theories, as far as I know, aren’t exactly personality theories but just causes and effects.
Psycho-analysis
Psycho-analysts view human beings as energy systems that always try to stay at minimum energy. To stay at minimum energy, any system tries hard to come to an equilibrium state. Here ends the similarity with Newtonian physics. According to celebrated psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, every human has two basic instincts -the libido (love) and mortedo (aggression). Proper development of a child (which according to him includes suckling, toilet training and incestuous feelings for parent of opposite sex – seemingly absurd stuff that really made him popular – a period of latency and finally puberty) can lead to a proper person-environment fit in adulthood.
Any kind of maladaptive behaviour can be explained in terms of unsatisfactory gratification in an earlier stage which leads to an imbalance in the energy system of the body. People tend to push it down to the unconscious or reorient it to some other, even pro-social, activity. I believe it’s the latency period which is most important here (though Freud had ignored this period, another psychoanalyst Erikson has recognized its role in development across life-stages). In the latency period, a child learns to direct his/her libido and mortedo towards constructive things. Libido can be directed towards creativity, affection and studies. Mortedo or aggression can be directed towards activities like sports.
Think, what if some of this mortedo doesn’t get directed towards aggressive activities like sports or video games or if libido doesn’t get diverted towards constructive activity? Energy starts building up. The only outlet then will be sex (for libido) and aggression (for mortedo). If one doesn’t engage in such anti-social activity, he simply pushes these down to his/her sub-conscious. Now, this unutilised energy grows in quantity. There are two possibilities then.
1. The person starts showing maladaptive behaviour to dissipate the built-up energy
2. The person is perfectly normal from the exterior. Energy keeps building up till at a threshold, it leads to violent behaviour like rape (to leak out libido) or criminal activity (for mortedo)
The second case is obviously the dangerous one. It also explains why some criminal activities come as a shock to the people who know the criminal – they believe he was such a good chap because this chap never let the energy out.
Another effect of the second case may be suicide. Suicide results when the built-up energy becomes excessively high and the individual turns to aggression against himself to escape the agony of excess psychic energy.
I believe maladaptive behaviours are very common and affect almost everyone in some way or the other. As Erikson had said, we face numerous challenges in all stages of life. Inability to cope with one stage leads to maladaptive behaviour in the next. If it doesn’t affect some person, beware! He is a potential psychopath.
Coming back to me, I am not a very sportsmanlike person and that very much explains everything. I could never get the opportunity to dissipate my energy through constructive sports, nor was I ever enthusiastic about video games. Result was that aggressive energy (every human is aggressive by birth) kept building up till the basic structure of my personality was modified. That explains the excessive sarcastic jokes.
As for my idiosyncrasies, these result from an excess of energy in the body system. Excess energy leads to instability which in turn leads to what we call ‘instinctive behaviour’ i.e. behaving without thinking. Here, a parallel between psychic energy and Newtonian energy can be drawn. An excess of energy in any body makes it unstable and attain a high ‘excitation state.’ As such, this explains that almost everyone has idiosyncrasies. It is just the degree of idiosyncrasies where I score high.
Humanistic Perspective
Humanists like Carl Roger and Abraham Maslow take a very positive view of life. Unlike Freud, (these theories developed in reaction to Freud’s) they view human beings as positive systems intrinsically motivated towards self-actualization. They believe that humans form a self-concept of themselves. This they do by perceiving what others’ perception of self is. This part of Rogerian theory is very similar to the concept of self in Mead’s theory of social interaction. Personality is internal to the individual but is formed as a result of his interaction with others. We have a positive and healthy self-concept (conducive to realizing self’s full potential) when people we interact with are good and give unconditioned positive regard to us. Unfortunately, not all people in our social space are warm and positive towards us. People can be demanding. People can be critical of you. And people can demoralise you in the most absurd way.
This is a point that should most parents and teachers are not aware of. Luckily for me, my parents have given me lots of love. But I can’t say that about my school. I don’t remember much of my school life (is it in my unconscious?) but of what I can remember, I wasn’t happy at all. Those were the formative days of my life and as much as I can remember, I had been the target of many a bully. I was (and still am) talkative. Most schools don’t train teachers to be elastic to the behaviour of students. Small deviant behaviour like talking a lot amounted to retribution. Of the few memories I have, one is that of kneeling down on a daily basis in the class of one Mrs. Roy.
I wish punishment would have helped me. Alas, it did not.
Freud believed that personality is built in childhood and stays that way all life. Roger, however, was of the opinion that self-concept is liable to modifications and can change in any stage of life.
I found really good friends after I passed out from school. However, the self-concept one gets from childhood sustained the new environment. Fact is, it becomes a vicious circle. Due to a faulty self-concept, I couldn’t make lasting inter-personal relations. I kind of hurt many friends. They reacted. I again hurt them. They again hurt me. This way, the self-concept built in my childhood stayed and was reinforced from time to time.
The good thing is, now I know what was wrong with me. Psychology is perhaps the only discipline that helps a man to make an introspective analysis of himself. It is a discipline that has an application in every facet of day-to-day life. As such, I believe everyone should be aware of psychological theories. This way, we can stop ourselves from committing the follies that can harm others and us. I wonder how good the world would be if everyone starts dealing with all others in his social sphere with unconditioned positive regard! Juvenile delinquency, drug addiction, alcoholism, violence and hatred (including ethnic and communal ones), among other evils, will be far less (if not extinct) than they are today. The world would be a less imperfect place to live in.
If you want to know what it is that has worried me, let me summarise it for you:
1. I crack sarcastic jokes at the expense of invariably everyone in my personal sphere of influence, sometimes humorous but often dry and cruel to the subject of the jokes.
2. I commit many follies, rather idiosyncrasies, in spite of intentions contrary to such, almost impulsively and later wonder how I could commit such
3. I am the master of indecision. I think over every issue a dozen times and end up more confused than when I start. Pretty much like ‘The Argumentative Indian’ who, according to Prof. Amartya Sen, “sometimes argues for the sake of arguing.”
4. I have been mired by seemingly illogical inferiority complexes in life. There was a period in my undergrad days when I just stayed away from people. That was a time when I was too conscious of what people thought about me, inflated what I thought people think of me to infinite proportions and stayed out of social gatherings. Indeed, it won’t be wrong to assume I was going through a period of depression and intense negative, self-defeating thoughts.
It is not that I am not in the know of these. It usually happens that many don’t understand the reasons for their follies. That, of course, isn’t the case with me since I think a lot. I have been trying hard for nearly three years now to account for these lacunae in my personality, but to no avail. I see something to be laughed at and out comes some instinctive comment from my mouth. I try hard not to make a fool of myself and ultimately make a greater mess.
An understanding of these aspects of myself can be made from a psycho-analytic perspective or from the humanistic perspective of personality. I leave out the behaviourists whose personality theories, as far as I know, aren’t exactly personality theories but just causes and effects.
Psycho-analysis
Psycho-analysts view human beings as energy systems that always try to stay at minimum energy. To stay at minimum energy, any system tries hard to come to an equilibrium state. Here ends the similarity with Newtonian physics. According to celebrated psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, every human has two basic instincts -the libido (love) and mortedo (aggression). Proper development of a child (which according to him includes suckling, toilet training and incestuous feelings for parent of opposite sex – seemingly absurd stuff that really made him popular – a period of latency and finally puberty) can lead to a proper person-environment fit in adulthood.
Any kind of maladaptive behaviour can be explained in terms of unsatisfactory gratification in an earlier stage which leads to an imbalance in the energy system of the body. People tend to push it down to the unconscious or reorient it to some other, even pro-social, activity. I believe it’s the latency period which is most important here (though Freud had ignored this period, another psychoanalyst Erikson has recognized its role in development across life-stages). In the latency period, a child learns to direct his/her libido and mortedo towards constructive things. Libido can be directed towards creativity, affection and studies. Mortedo or aggression can be directed towards activities like sports.
Think, what if some of this mortedo doesn’t get directed towards aggressive activities like sports or video games or if libido doesn’t get diverted towards constructive activity? Energy starts building up. The only outlet then will be sex (for libido) and aggression (for mortedo). If one doesn’t engage in such anti-social activity, he simply pushes these down to his/her sub-conscious. Now, this unutilised energy grows in quantity. There are two possibilities then.
1. The person starts showing maladaptive behaviour to dissipate the built-up energy
2. The person is perfectly normal from the exterior. Energy keeps building up till at a threshold, it leads to violent behaviour like rape (to leak out libido) or criminal activity (for mortedo)
The second case is obviously the dangerous one. It also explains why some criminal activities come as a shock to the people who know the criminal – they believe he was such a good chap because this chap never let the energy out.
Another effect of the second case may be suicide. Suicide results when the built-up energy becomes excessively high and the individual turns to aggression against himself to escape the agony of excess psychic energy.
I believe maladaptive behaviours are very common and affect almost everyone in some way or the other. As Erikson had said, we face numerous challenges in all stages of life. Inability to cope with one stage leads to maladaptive behaviour in the next. If it doesn’t affect some person, beware! He is a potential psychopath.
Coming back to me, I am not a very sportsmanlike person and that very much explains everything. I could never get the opportunity to dissipate my energy through constructive sports, nor was I ever enthusiastic about video games. Result was that aggressive energy (every human is aggressive by birth) kept building up till the basic structure of my personality was modified. That explains the excessive sarcastic jokes.
As for my idiosyncrasies, these result from an excess of energy in the body system. Excess energy leads to instability which in turn leads to what we call ‘instinctive behaviour’ i.e. behaving without thinking. Here, a parallel between psychic energy and Newtonian energy can be drawn. An excess of energy in any body makes it unstable and attain a high ‘excitation state.’ As such, this explains that almost everyone has idiosyncrasies. It is just the degree of idiosyncrasies where I score high.
Humanistic Perspective
Humanists like Carl Roger and Abraham Maslow take a very positive view of life. Unlike Freud, (these theories developed in reaction to Freud’s) they view human beings as positive systems intrinsically motivated towards self-actualization. They believe that humans form a self-concept of themselves. This they do by perceiving what others’ perception of self is. This part of Rogerian theory is very similar to the concept of self in Mead’s theory of social interaction. Personality is internal to the individual but is formed as a result of his interaction with others. We have a positive and healthy self-concept (conducive to realizing self’s full potential) when people we interact with are good and give unconditioned positive regard to us. Unfortunately, not all people in our social space are warm and positive towards us. People can be demanding. People can be critical of you. And people can demoralise you in the most absurd way.
This is a point that should most parents and teachers are not aware of. Luckily for me, my parents have given me lots of love. But I can’t say that about my school. I don’t remember much of my school life (is it in my unconscious?) but of what I can remember, I wasn’t happy at all. Those were the formative days of my life and as much as I can remember, I had been the target of many a bully. I was (and still am) talkative. Most schools don’t train teachers to be elastic to the behaviour of students. Small deviant behaviour like talking a lot amounted to retribution. Of the few memories I have, one is that of kneeling down on a daily basis in the class of one Mrs. Roy.
I wish punishment would have helped me. Alas, it did not.
Freud believed that personality is built in childhood and stays that way all life. Roger, however, was of the opinion that self-concept is liable to modifications and can change in any stage of life.
I found really good friends after I passed out from school. However, the self-concept one gets from childhood sustained the new environment. Fact is, it becomes a vicious circle. Due to a faulty self-concept, I couldn’t make lasting inter-personal relations. I kind of hurt many friends. They reacted. I again hurt them. They again hurt me. This way, the self-concept built in my childhood stayed and was reinforced from time to time.
The good thing is, now I know what was wrong with me. Psychology is perhaps the only discipline that helps a man to make an introspective analysis of himself. It is a discipline that has an application in every facet of day-to-day life. As such, I believe everyone should be aware of psychological theories. This way, we can stop ourselves from committing the follies that can harm others and us. I wonder how good the world would be if everyone starts dealing with all others in his social sphere with unconditioned positive regard! Juvenile delinquency, drug addiction, alcoholism, violence and hatred (including ethnic and communal ones), among other evils, will be far less (if not extinct) than they are today. The world would be a less imperfect place to live in.
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