Trivials of Geo Technical Lab

On soil lab



Following is an anecdotic set-up of what happened to us (me and ...) in last sem's Geo Technical Engineering Viva. Obviously, many anecdotes from other such vivas have been borrowed to make it a "concrete" story. Read on...

On being Thrown Out…

*Names mis-spelt to protect identity

Two-thirty in the afternoon. And it is dark…my brain. I am trying to console myself-‘you have gone through this before. But…but have you ever before dealt three heavyweights like TKB, AKS and NKK at the same time?’ I looked around for help. None. Geo-tech lab at that hour was more sickening than a government hospital, even though it doesn’t smell, nor does it have the visual impact patients and syringes produce.

There are, as critics believe, four kinds of students who do experiments in an electrical lab- 1. Those who know and have the enthusiasm to do 2. Those who know but don’t do anything 3. Those who don’t know anything but fiddle with something or the other (leading the group into a repeat lab) and 4. those who neither know anything nor do anything. And ours was a group that had a representative each from the four above mentioned categories- Manohar*, Krish(geddam)*, myself and Balakrishna(bala)*- in the order as introduced.

On that fateful day, Bala and Krish were sitting to my right- both as uncertain as me- and Manohar to the left. There was but a small consolation- Bala can’t perform better than me. We were sitting face-to-face with three professors, the protagonists of this plot, Prof. AK S, Prof. NKK and Prof. TKB. Also seen in this scene are two research scholars, who don’t seem to pose any threat.

NKK, as mirthful as ever, asks: ‘Good afternoon students. So, let us know what you have learnt in this course
Bala, always in a hurry to impress : Sir, we learnt Geo Technical Engineering
Think before you answer idiot. The course name is Geo Technical Engineering.
AKS, in his scornful tone: ‘Geo Technical! So can I take the liberty of asking anything from GeoTech?’
‘Sure sir. But we believe, we learnt the most in Soil Mechanics lad’ Krish says, trying to protect us from two calamities namely Foundation Lab and Rock Mechanics Lab.
‘Soil Lab. I see! It seems every group understands experiments done in Foundation lab or HV Lab. So, why don’t you take over prof. Kishore’ AKS says, in a dry satiric tone.
NKK is overjoyed and in his excitement, asks a question on Soil Mechanics that leaves us clueless.
A short silence. I was tempted to give an answer but drew back in the last moment as I recalled my strategy- Its relative grading Krishna. Let them give wrong answers.. Just nod your head and wait for the perfect question. They are bound to give an easy question. Grab it as and when it comes your way.

AKS, in the same dry tone: ‘We are expecting an answer’.
Manohar (who else?): ‘Sir, the Kaolinite particles of clay…’ I could feel his throat go dry, ‘In sphere to sphere…better than plane to plane. Like sir, it is…’
We gather the hint and start off. ‘KAOLINITE’ popped out of my mouth in a heavy Telugu accent, but I controlled myself before anything else could slip off my tongue. Bala, always eager to tell something, says, ‘Sir, actually what happens, KALINITE' flocculated stucture takes place because of…because of impurities like moisture and dust particles’ Bala's eyes turn around appealing for a backup but I resolve not to give any. Finally, Krish starts off. The strong point of Krish is that he can say anything bogus in a convincing manner and repeat the same thing in multiple gramatically correct sentences. His hands are in mid-air, trying to explain something neither we nor the professors can decipher- ‘The planes are like this…but in case of a sphere-plane alignment, we see that…we find that…”

NKK: ‘Hahaha. So is this what you learnt in Soil Mechanics Lab?’
AKS: ‘You people…you people don’t read books, don’t ask doubts. We give you internet and you start misusing it. Have you ever used it for any constructive purpose? And yes. There is a huge library at the entrance of the main building. Have you ever been there?’
The Library. Oh yes. What better place than journal section to beat the summer heat? The internet thing was limited to a sentence, given the fact that these events took place much before the baazi.com disclosure.

TKB (at last!): ‘I don’t understand why you are a passive lot. First I thought it is the drudged ness of the campus. But no. You have all sorts of cultural and sports events going on. You have such good facilities. I don’t understand what goes wrong. Do whatever you find interesting, but do something. We can’t force you, but for the time you are here, do something’
AKS: Prof. TKB, these people should be thrown out of this lab
NKK: Oh no! Lets give them another chance. Prof.TKB, why don’t you ask something?

TKB: Ok. What is Liquifaction?
And Mahish scores! It occurs during Earth quake. AKS gets excited, now that a team member has opened the account and we are expected to follow suit. But alas! That was the last correct answer. They ask us about the Clay minerelogy and particle size distribution of Different soils, seive analysis results, Consistency limits, ISI Classification , but no pausible answer comes out. Frustration is ripe on the professors’ face, and a hope dawns on me that they may leave us now…

TKB is expected to give a concluding remark. He starts:
‘Is there anyone from Zanskar house here’
I spring up after maintaining a low profile all through. May be I could get some marks on Hall sento. But hey! TKB is a Kumaon alumnus. Isn’t he?

Everyone is enlivened by the anecdote, everyone but the four victims. NKK never looked this happy. The research scholars, frust spirits that they are, also chuckle. A smile escapes even from the lips of AKS, who otherwise always puts up an expression similar to prof. Snape of the Harry Potter series. Was Rowling inspired by our AKS? Not very improbable.

TKB: ‘What is Highly plastic soil?’
And Krish scores! It is the soil whose liquid limit is more than 50%! Oh God! Krish has scored. Even Bala, though never correct, has participated in the discussion. I can’t take any chance. If there is any question coming up, I have to answer that.

NKK prompts a research scholar to ask us something. The research scholar starts: ‘You see, in a Well foundation, I hope you know what Well foundation is? So…’
Of course I know. I have to answer a question and this is it. I interrupt before he completes his question…
‘Yes. Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’ I stated.
Immediately, five pairs of eyes rest on me. AKS’s eyeballs are protruding dangerously out of the socket and it seems will fall on me any moment. Hey, what has gone wrong? Ok guys, I repeat my answer…

Well foundation is used for Bridge piers on river beds’

I know I am a student of immense caliber. A renowned astrologer in Kakinada had said that. But I never had realised I could leave three senior professors of Civil engineering department SHOCKED. There is a half-a-minute silence, sounding more melancholic than a thriller, and Bala opens his mouth.

Bala is never certain about anything, and starts with a shaky tone: ‘Sir, Well foundation is used for supporting large loads by the foundation’. ‘YES’, NKK yells, and I swear it’s the first time I have seen him yell.
There seems to be a crowd applauding Bala’s victory over me. And I could see Bala waving back at the crowd. You bloody Bala. You opportunistic swine. How come you know the answer?And look…you have devastated me.

TKB, in a resigned tone: ‘Go and call the next group’.
All the same, we are eager to. We rise from our seat and are about to leave the lab when NKK calls back.
‘How a well foundation is constructed?’ he asks me, but I act as if I haven’t listened.
Bala, confident that he is in lieu of his previous victory, answers, ‘Well foundation is sinked into the soil before application of load!
TKB: And How it is sinked?
Bala: It would be by application of load by a crane, may be a tower crane

Another silence, this time extending beyond half-a-second and more melancholic than the previous one.
NKK, regaining his composure and sense of humour, says: ‘You were wrong Prof. AKS when you said these people should be thrown out of this lab. These people should be thrown out of the institute’