Recession Blues

I was never been sure what i wants to be in life. I entered IIT because IIT is a gateway for the middle class to enhanced economic prosperity. My parents, like most other Andhra Pradesh parents, were more concerned with the prestige element.

No doubt, I used to be confused all the time at the institute. I saw people aspiring for management schools and started preparing for the same. After a fortnight I realised my English is beyond redemption and so dropped the plan. At one point in time, I wanted to write the GRE and go abroad for higher studies, and this time all was going well. Alas, I messed up with my graduation project and the project guide made it clear that I shouldn’t expect any recommendation from him.

Very soon I got fascinated with the civil service. I was entranced by the facilities and powers enjoyed by a civil servant; the biggest attraction, however, was the huge under-table transactions, as well as hope of getting an enhanced dowry package.

No lunch is free; in much the same way no job waits for you. It took a long time for me to realise that aspiring is easier than actually clearing the civil service exams. A three-staged recruitment process ranging over a year and an average success rate of around one in ten thousand is not a cake walk. But, eventually, i ve stated preparation.Eventually i ve joined the frustated souls of IIT delhi civils preparing batch.

But no! my story isn’t over yet. In fact it starts now, given that campus placement has just begun, That to in an recession year, i badly need a job because i felt that once out of campus, it would be very difficult to get job, in any case i wont join job, But it certainly will effect my confidence level,I Hate software jobs – “I will be made to work like a dog for every penny I get” – I used to quote. I had many favourable elements in my CV. I had a good grade point average . I was convinced that companies were waiting just for me and so resolved that i would enter one of those high-paying management or oil companies.

I got himself some formal wear – made a lot of fuss on the shirt-trousers colour combination and invested generously in tie and shoes. I am now ready to grab his dream job.

HLL and Lehmon Brothers scanned me out in the CV stage itself. I managed to enter the group discussion level in ITC but couldn’t make any headway from there as the only thing i did was nod his head while others did the talking. That day i resolved not to wear ITC-made T-Shirts any longer. After the first interview round at Schlumberger, which I couldn’t clear, I realised the importance of extra-curricular activities to get me into the FMCG or oil sectors. I immediately used my well-placed contacts to get certificates certifying that I was an Inter-IIT gold medallist in football. Friends suggested, looking at the unusual anatomy i had, that i take volleyball or cricket, but i settled for nothing less that football.

The interviewers from Shell were extremely pleased. Good at academics, good at sports and good at hall activities (i got a certificate issued from the hall that i was general secretary of the mess).
“What position do you play in football?”
I drew a blank at that first question. I had mugged up the names of many clubs and players but he had just forgotten to memorize the game.
“I… I think… no, I am the goal keeper.”
“I guessed so, looking at your build.”
I didn’t sound very convincing. Luckily the person facing me also wasn’t good at football and so I wasn’t grilled much on the topic.
“During my graduation days mess food was horrible. Tell me what your responsibilities are as a mess secretary?” the interviewer asked.
“A… eeh… uh… well… Supervising the cooks,” I mumbled.
“Ok, thank you. It has been a pleasure meeting you.” Translation: “Get out. You’ve already wasted much of my time.”

A wise man is he who learns from experiences. I dumped the forged certificates and got ready for an assault on core Civil companies – TCE,L&T, Patel, DLF Reliance, to name a few. I then realised that i a good grade point average by being a book worm, a kind of person which civil engg companies will not be preferring( they needed Leadership skills and all that crap)

After facing the interview board of such companies I realized the importance of the Extra culrricular activities and most importantly getting certified for that. But it was too late and almost all core companies had gone. From now on, software companies, big and small, will parade into the campus and will take away truck-loads of cheap labour.

Mind you, there is variety in software companies also. There are start-ups that give stock options and a decent pay; then there are the multinationals that pay you six lacs+ per year and make you do work worth fifteen; the BPOs that practically end up changing your body rhythm; and last but not the least our very own Infosys, Wipro and Satyam which, as per a popular rhyme in campus, pay quite enough to manage:

    Two square meals a day
    A modest room to stay
    And a blanket to keep the winters at bay

If you spend prudently (by taking one meal a day and supplementing the room by a cell) you may save something for your insurance policy also.

Even though i was tempted to sit for these companies as welI, i finally managed to abstain from these firms. I sat for Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman Sachs technical positions. From Oracle I learnt that you can’t predict the future, that is, the questions they ask in technical rounds. From D.E. Shaw I learnt that you can be either right or wrong in a technical interview, but in the HR interview you think you are right but you are wrong.

The Goldman Sachs interview went quite well. I am a wise man who learns from his mistakes and doesn’t repeat them. After the HR round, I was asked if he had any questions. I frankly said he had none. Of course I had none. I am ready to work in a coal mine for the brand name of Goldman. Goldman Sachs didn’t take me. Someone pointed out that if you don’t ask them any questions, the company thinks you are desperate. “Isn’t it enough that I answer all their untoward questions? Do I have to ask them some too?” I practically shouted in frustration that day.

And the story continued… clouds came and went but I saw no rain, very much like Mithun Da’s movies.

    There were many moisture-laden clouds
    But no rain for me
    Oracle, D.E. Shaw and Goldman
    But no gold for me
    Then comes a company
    Called Simpany*

(*Name misspelt to protect me against litigation)

But the only solace i had is nobody from civil engineering is being placed except some studs of electronics and CSC. So, i am now the king of donkeys

By this time i am qualified enough to write the book ‘How to face an interview board’ i now regularly checks the websites of all companies I sits for and called up seniors in the company to get inputs on the nature of work the company does. I finds that Simpany is a reputed Indian firm.

Clearing the technical round was no longer a problem for me. Next came the HR round. The first few questions, “Tell us something about yourself”, “Why do you want to join the company”, etc. went perfectly well. Then i was asked, “What are your career plans?”

“I want to be the CEO of Simpany someday.” A classmate had impressed the panel of another company by saying this but with all due respect to my copy-and-paste ability, i was posted in Austria and aspiring for the post of CEO was just too ambitious.

Perhaps the interviewer also thought so. “Do you know who the present CEO of Simpany is?”

I again managed to make a fool of me. I mugged everything from the website except this small bit of information.

The interviewer moved on: “Do you have any questions?”

“Sir, can you tell me about the work culture at Simpany?” I asked even though his expression meant: “Just take me in. I have been wearing these formals for three months now and am ready to work for any company. Oh, I regret the day I didn’t sit for the Infy and Wipro interviews! I will do whatever work you ask me to – software, hardware, carry bricks and cement, clean the toilets or serve food – whatever you say.”

It seems like the company was in need of many quality students (some companies have a notion that students from IITs have a lot of grey cells) and so recruited almost all who had applied for the job. The pay wasn’t as good as i aspired when placement season had started. In fact, the pay wasn’t half as good as i aspired then, still it was a good company, and i found out a dozen odd reasons to convince himself and friends and family that i got my dream job!!