Christmas and December are fast approaching, while the actual date is a month away, I already started getting texts from friends saying things like “What scenes bro?” Apparently, the correct answer to this question is not “The Solozzo hit from The Godfather, and Faisal’s revenge in Wasseypur II.” (yes, it is a horrendous joke) You may also find yourself part of several Facebook groups, like ‘NEW YEAR AT MINEZ!’ and ‘DJ PUMPY LIVE AT THE PINK TOAD!’ etc etc ,But this time it is going to be different It is the collective sound of the world going “Whew, we didn’t end”.so i decided to party hard this new year eve . Unless the Mayans were right, and the world ends, in which case, this entire planning of parties would be futile. Except you’re dead, so ha. Unless you were on the International Space Station when it happened, in which case, go forth and procreate, and tell every alien you meet that the Mayans were a****les.
There are three main kinds of New Year’s Eve parties; bad ones, horrid ones, and ‘Makes the holocaust look like Coachella’ ones. The third one usually involves a crowded public-space, like a hotel or nightclub The third one usually involves a crowded public-space, like a hotel, nightclub, or in one hilarious instance some years ago for me in Goa, a ‘cruise-liner with two decks and an artificial beach’ that never showed up, and was replaced by an Rajahmundry ferry with two feet of space, and a forlorn looking lump of sand in one corner. Passes to that party cost “Did Steve Jobs price this?” rupees and irate party-goers who realised they’d been duped started wrecking the ferry and lobbing pieces of the sound-system overboard. The major irritation of these parties are drunkards who features performances by whoever had a hit item song that year, so I assume this year, the biggest one will feature Ajay Devgn’s Jiggly Pectorals™ from son of sardar. The alcohol finishes at 12:01 am, and the night finishes at 1:37 am, when Montu slaps Prakash for glancing at the door to the women’s loo, because Montu’s girlfriend is also a woman. So this time i am not attending that ceremony.
So the next option is the “Let’s get together at somebody’s house” party, because this way, I can invite my friends located close to me. Some of them will show up, you’ll never hear of the other again because they’ll reach Mozambique by searching for Dahod in Apple Maps
And my personal favourite involves getting out of town the day before, and holing up in a place where the weather’s better (aka anywhere past Dahod), and the food and Music are great. You get no traffic, you get to choose the music, and you can sleep as per your will and wish and come back two days later. And that’s what I’m going to do this year. Unless the Mayans were right, and the world ends.
There are three main kinds of New Year’s Eve parties; bad ones, horrid ones, and ‘Makes the holocaust look like Coachella’ ones. The third one usually involves a crowded public-space, like a hotel or nightclub The third one usually involves a crowded public-space, like a hotel, nightclub, or in one hilarious instance some years ago for me in Goa, a ‘cruise-liner with two decks and an artificial beach’ that never showed up, and was replaced by an Rajahmundry ferry with two feet of space, and a forlorn looking lump of sand in one corner. Passes to that party cost “Did Steve Jobs price this?” rupees and irate party-goers who realised they’d been duped started wrecking the ferry and lobbing pieces of the sound-system overboard. The major irritation of these parties are drunkards who features performances by whoever had a hit item song that year, so I assume this year, the biggest one will feature Ajay Devgn’s Jiggly Pectorals™ from son of sardar. The alcohol finishes at 12:01 am, and the night finishes at 1:37 am, when Montu slaps Prakash for glancing at the door to the women’s loo, because Montu’s girlfriend is also a woman. So this time i am not attending that ceremony.
So the next option is the “Let’s get together at somebody’s house” party, because this way, I can invite my friends located close to me. Some of them will show up, you’ll never hear of the other again because they’ll reach Mozambique by searching for Dahod in Apple Maps
And my personal favourite involves getting out of town the day before, and holing up in a place where the weather’s better (aka anywhere past Dahod), and the food and Music are great. You get no traffic, you get to choose the music, and you can sleep as per your will and wish and come back two days later. And that’s what I’m going to do this year. Unless the Mayans were right, and the world ends.
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